Obscure skillz. I has them.

Jobs that no longer appear on my résumé:

• Copy center assistant at the University of Washington
• Allows me to claim that I've worked at UW since age 16
  
• Barista before they were called baristas, in Seattle of course
  
• Garageman at a SeaTac Airport rental car agency
• Officially "vehicle service attendants" by then, but I demanded to be called the old-school term
  
• Salmon processor in Bristol Bay, Alaska
• Not recommended; mostly a scam
  
• Industrial laundry attendant in Anchorage
  
• Temp
  
• Starbucks barista in Plano, Texas
  
• Credit card call center associate
• Home mortgage and community reinvestment data analyst
• FoxPro programmer
• Sometimes I do admit to this one on the résumé
• Veterinary assistant at after-hours emergency clinic
• Veterinary receptionist at day clinic
• Zzz

Not so much an interesting memoir as a source of nearly endlessly annoying anecdotes and trivial knowledge. Altogether, a good reason to keep me away from a second drink at parties.